Holiday Accommodations-Happy Holidays for ALL
Thanksgiving and the holiday season can be stressful for anyone–or even everyone. By having a couple holiday accommodations in place, you can make the holidays more comfortable for many (children and adults).
I write from the perspective of a mother who knows the needs of my child with special needs, but these strategies can be helpful to both children and adults who have special needs (diagnosed or not), are more sensitive, get easily overwhelmed, and frankly, some of these children coming out of Covid isolation for most of their lives. These are holiday accommodations we would appreciate and have found to help.
I threw together this quick little reel to help get the word out, please share it and help EVERYONE have a happy holiday season.
Accommodation 1: Ask them/caregiver what they need
By simply asking, you can get more insight into what they need. This can be before to have the environment best set up or it can be in reaction to them having a hard time. Just ask. Most parents and people who are able to verbalize their needs will appreciate someone checking in on them. They may not need anything, they may desperately need something but be afraid to inconvenience with asking, but knowing you cared to ask and offer your help makes a huge difference.
Accommodation 2: Have a “safe place” for the to retreat to
Having a spot they can go to get a break from the people, the noise, the lights, etc can be helpful. It does not have to be a spot that is made up for them, but just, “if you need it you can go in the ___ room” is great to know if we are losing it where can we go to get it back.
Accommodation 3: Understand participation can look a variety of ways
Some people are able to be on their tablet and open gifts/eat a meal. Some can be in and out of the room and totally content with that. Some can have their siblings open their gifts and they will come peek at the gift later. They be participating more in the even than you know about. Offer to include them and let them participate how they do it best.
Accommodation 4: Rock & Roll with it (whatever it is)
Like understanding participation comes in a variety of ways, understand they may have their own way of doing things. They may always have a tablet with them. They may make loud noises. They may get close to your face and laugh as a way of interacting. They may eat food top to bottom instead of taking a bite. They may be of an older age still learning to eat with utensils but for now eat caveman style. They may bring their own food or dip everything (including their fruit) in ketchup. They may not want to open a gift. They may need a little coaxing for pictures. Whatever it is, just roll with with. Going with their agenda instead of yours will make things much smoother.
Accommodation 5: Let them talk (even if it is slow)
Stuttering, slow talking, looking for the button through folders can take time. You may think you are helping, or say something like: “Its ok you can just have it” but if you wouldn’t interrupt someone, don’t interrupt them talking either.
Accommodation 6: Accept them for who they are
Do not be the person to suggest ways you could make the person different. Don’t suggest they will grow out of it, snake oils, or deny the disability. Just accept the person for who they are. This is them, this is their needs, and this is the way it is.
Accommodation 7: Love them
If they are at your holiday gathering, they or the family have some sort of closeness to you. Love them. Let them know you love them, you are happy they are there and you are happy to be a part of their life.
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