Dear special needs parent- do it anyway

Dear fellow special needs mom,

It may be hard for you to want to do the concerts, ceremonies, and programs at your child’s school. Your child is different, your child needs modifications, and your child is uniquely yours.

You will want to have these memories, regardless. You will see your child grow, regardless. You may not want to push them, you may not want to be disappointed, you may not want to have to do so much more than other parents. Do it anyway.

You will look back on this event and be proud you tried. You will learn from it. You will do your best and your child will, too. You will learn ways to do better next time and realize how much they have grown from last time.

You child may not be “graduating” with the same skills as their peers. You child may not be singing or presenting the same skills as their peers. But your child has their own goals (IEP) and their own accomplishments. Your child is prod of their growth, and you can be proud of your child and that accomplishment regardless of how it compares.

You may feel awkward, people may not understand your excitement over something small, but they are not who you are there for. You are there for your child, your family, and for you.

Go to the events, make a big deal of it, take the pictures, and have the memories. You will be proud of you all, I promise.

With love and understanding,
Stay at Home ZooKeeper, Siraya Gloudemans
fellow special needs mom

Our experience

Nolan had a digital graduation from 4k. I didn’t know if I wanted to go. He wasn’t going to get much out of it/ he wouldn’t know or care either way, I would have to do a lot to keep him there, I would have to do something else with the siblings.

I was convinced by another special needs mom to do it anyway. We did it anyway. Nolan did not leave 4k with letters and numbers, but he did leave with friends. He did graduate 4k with his cousin, only 6 weeks younger than him (regardless of height).

Nolan sat for the whole ceremony and smiled. Nolan was proud of himself. Nolan was a big boy who did big things, and overcame a lot of things this school year (most notably, medication changes that were hard on everyone). Nolan made his teachers smile. He will be remembered for his hugs, licks, persistence, and smile.

Nolan graduated 4k and we are all so glad we were there to witness the ceremony, get the photos. We did it anyway.