30 Weeks

How far along? 30 weeks
Total Weight Gain? 23 lbs
Stretch Marks? no
Sleep: awful. I am up all the time to use the bathroom and if I am not up for the bathroom I am up with one of the other kids. Still rolling onto my back in the night but then I wake up and I cant breath and everything hurts so it takes me a while to fall asleep again.
Best Moment this Week: Seeing baby moving and knowing what body part is where and been poking me in that spot. As hard as Valentine’s day was (with not having the whole family together and Nolan having a hard time) but I was able to get a couple of photos and love on these kids of mine.

Miss Anything? I really struggle with moving easily. I just want to bend, get laundry out of the washing machine, stir things on the stove, or do the dishes without kicks, contractions or the inability to reach.
Movement: Lots and lots of movement. It is all the time. As annoying as it was, I love knowing everything is ok and I appreciate the little reminders so very often.
Food Craving? not really
Anything making you queasy or sick? not really–nausea has been random.
Bellybutton in our out? out as out can be.
Wedding Rings on or off? on! I got my ring back and it is shinier than I remember, it is whiter than I remember, and it is not longer irritating my finger!
Happy or Moody most of the time? I am pretty moody. Lots of tears often. Lots of anxiety about the unknown and lack of control.
Looking forward to? At this point I am ready for baby to be here so I have some answers. Many of the things scaring me are the unknown so just having baby here means I will have those answers. Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to have baby early I just want the answers part of it.
Labor Signs? Lots and lots of contractions but still absolutely no problems with the cervix so that is good.

Anything Else? Baby is approximately 3lbs 4oz. Measuring in the 48% for size. I have my gender guess, but nothing is set in stone-obviously. If anyone saw the huge lump by my bellybutton the other day, to answer the shoulder vs butt debate, it was the butt. Baby is head down, which is nice.

I am not sure if you saw my last post, but there is a lot more anxiety behind a pregnancy after a special needs diagnosis. New aspects of the anxiety pop up when you least expect it or something you never thought of suddenly has a deeper meaning. For me, the size of this baby set off a whole bunch of feelings of labor and things that can cause autism. I am scared but I know that I am meant to have another baby. I will keep on trucking and working through the emotions one day at a time.

I cannot believe how small I was at 5 (actually 4) weeks. Granted that was a week after the parasite, but still. I cannot wait to see this belly/baby grow but then I look forward to working back to 5 weeks as well.

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