So I started this blog to make people laugh, to be a fly on our wall, to make mom life normalized, and then to help Autism moms as well. Well here is a dandy for you that should have you rolling on the floor laughing…because I have chosen the laugh or you’ll cry approach to my life.
PSA, this is a gory potty training, poop filled story so please stop reading/scrolling if that bothers you.
We’ve been potty training a week and Nolan was doing pretty well at not having open air accidents. He was peeing on a timer. We started to trust him. Big mistake- then came the poopageddon (#1). Nolan was upstairs on his swing. He likes to hook his armpits, and walk the swing in circles winding it up and then lifting himself up and spin. Well on said day, he pooped while winding….but keep going–MULTIPLE TIMES. There was poop ground into the carpets, in circular foot prints, on the side of the swing, on the bottom of the swing and from his armpits down. Also, he doesn’t like things on his feet so he kept stepping on his own feet trying to wipe them clean only to spread it further. There was 4 minute left on his potty alarm. 4. I scoop him up, run him to the bathtub and make him sit. Just sit. No water just sit. I close off the playroom and get him in the bath. I scrub/floss between his toes and clean him up from his armpits to his toenails. I then draw up an actual bath and give both kids a bath. Now it is bed time so I do normal routine, get both kids in bed and begin shampooing the carpet (thank GOD the friend that borrowed it returned it the day before). I then threw the fabric swing in the wash machine with all the other lovely paraphernalia from the incident. All this while daddy was working 8-8…..
Then we have poopageddon #2. Nolan was on a pretty strict poop schedule so I (mistakenly) trusted him in the playroom again because it was not poop time–this time with the monitor on. I saw him on the iPad next to the futon and then a few minutes later in his bed playing in his Boston’s Bed Soxz, which he loves and is a great sensory input for him. Time for a potty break so I go to get him……turns out he pooped earlier—by the futon, JUST out of screen view. Guess who jumps and dances while watching Mickey. Guess who still doesn’t like poop on his feet. THEEENNNN he went in his bed. Oh no! His bed! on the bed sock, on the sheets. Ugh wash all bedding and Repeat bath situation and shampoo situation as above (daddy is working this whole time too)….. We decided to try underwear during the day since he has to at ABA center anyway.
And #3 SAME DAY apparently he saved some for his normal poop time… and it rolled out of the underwear and repeated the same dang process in the same dang spot in front of the futon…..the carpet wasn’t even dry yet!
Then we are on a week and half. Nolan stopped peeing in general. I think he was holding it and avoiding drinking so he didn’t have to go the bathroom so he didn’t have to go. He sat on the potty for 2+ hours (with iPad, snacks and drinks) next to him. I was giving him anything and everything he wanted to drink to make him pee so I could give a treat and yay for peeing in the potty…… finally 2+ hours he wasn’t pointed down and he went all days worth al lover in front of him. Its ok, he was sitting, he was on the potty, he did good! Yay! Treat! woohoo! Get up and go for a few minutes while I clean up the floor–he went plenty there is no way he could need to go again. I clean the floor, then need make lunch. I was cleaning the Moscow Mule copper mug with melted ice and the remnants of a Moscow Mule left from 2 days before on the table when I look into the living room to see poop under him in front of the couch that he is jumping watching Mickey at. I go running! I set the mug down and immediately pick him up so he doesn’t smash it. Set him on the potty. Stella comes running to see poop on the floor (she went in the potty earlier today and has been saying pee pee and poopy in the potty all day). I am trying to keep him sitting, her back and get the floor clean. I get everything in working order, clean Nolan up and put a diaper on. I release him only to have him come running, punt the Moscow Mule cup I haven’t come back for into the clean basket of laundry–of their clothes. I have to wash them because I cant send both my kids out in Moscow Mule scented clothes……
You guys, moms, parents:
1) potty training is no joke
2) your house his not the only crazy house
3) I will pay anyone to potty train for me.
4) this is where the blog gets its name
5) always remember: Laugh or you’ll cry.