Mental Shift-Finding the positives during covid-19

With Wisconsin announcing that they are going to be under the shelter at home until May 26 now (That will be 10.5 weeks). People are going stir crazy, people are angry, people are feeling controlled by their government, people are feeling like it is an exaggeration of the media. People are mostly feeling like so many things have been taken from them.

There is no denying, we have had a lot taken away.

I felt that way. My son’s IEP and support services, therapy, speech, and routine. My daughters preschool, socialization, dance classes, dance recital, and target runs. My son’s first birthday photos, first birthday party, and just being social. My parent’s and in-laws missed out on grandparent hugs, housewarming dinners, Easter dinner, birthday dinner, and seeing the milestones happen. I have no personal space, 3 children who constantly need me (and until bedtime-which I can do alone up to 3 nights a week still) and I am never able to put my guard down. All of my help and specialists have been taken and I am left having to be their EVERYTHING/EVERYONE. I have seen my children have all this taken away from them and that is enough to break a mother’s heart.

I have begun to spiral. I have begun to cry and feel down. I have been STRUGGLING. I know this too shall pass. I know that I can do hard things. I know that we are going to leave our homes stronger people with new perspective in life, but we have to survive this to get there. I don’t mean physically survive (though that is true, too. We do need to stay healthy), but we need to mentally survive as well.

On social media

I have been staying active on social media in order to keep my connection to the world. I have wanted to help others going through this in forming the community, but I also needed the outlet to have someone besides a 3 year old to talk to. In doing so, I have come across quite a few projects that “everyone else is doing.”

These projects can make moms feel 2 ways,
1) That is a great idea one more way to keep my kids busy and remember these times.
OR
2) Shut up Karen, I cannot possibly manage another project. You’re not a better mom with your projects.

First I want to say your feelings are 100% valid. You are totally fine feeling both ways. I feel way number 2 until I have a minute of time and then I am all over 1.

The Shift

I found this project and 1) I knew we had to do it and 2) it totally made a mental shift for me. As sad as I am for all that has been taken, I am still so grateful to have a home to shelter in and an amazing family to do it with. I completed the project and have been working since to make a list of things I am grateful for, the silver linings or finding joy in the small things daily.

Thanks, silver linings, & small joys

• We have a home
• We have each other
• We have our health
• We have financial stability with Alex working

• Bryce learned how to walk because he was home all day instead of in the car
• Bryce got on a nap schedule and that helped his night schedule because we were home instead of in the car
• When we have a bad night of sleep, we can sleep in
• Stella and I get in 50% less fights because almost all our fights revolved around getting ready to go in the car
• I got all my teaching supplies organized and was able to use my teaching skills to help friends, family, and the blog.
• I can slow down a bit, the crazy schedule was killing me/my mental health
• Weekends are less chaotic and we can get projects done and relax as a family
• Nolan got to work on peddling a bike
• We have used up the food hidden in the freezer
• We got a front porch photo session
• I actually got in touch with some friends more than before because we get together virtually instead of in person