A Stay at Home Mom’s Letter to Her Husband
Dear Husband,
I am sorry we got in a disagreement about breakfast, lunch, or bedtime routine again. You tell me it is because I make you feel like everything has to be my way; that if you come up with the idea then it cant be right. I didn’t mean for it to come across that way, and I am sorry.
When you are working (which I am extremely appreciative and grateful for), I am here trying to make it all flow. I don’t want you to come home to a crying, frazzled mess any more than I want to be a crying frazzled mess. What I want to do is have a system that generally works and help us all get through the day with SOME efficiency. Simply using the math of the time I am home with the kids, I have more time for the trial and error required to test out these systems.
The kids are here practicing the systems, know what is expected of them as well as the consequences for not following through. They can be more successful and feel more secure in themselves and what they should be doing—and all that is through practice.
When you come home and we are mid-system, it is frustrating to have it thrown off…as it has been thoroughly tested and refined. When you start the day off with a little different routine and then leave for work, I am left dealing with the make up, re-do, recalibrating, and it is tough (and I turn into that crying frazzled mess again). It is hard.
I do not want you to feel inadequate, I do not want you to feel your opinion doesn’t matter, and I don’t want to feel like I run everything and you have no say. It is quite the opposite, I would love to come up with these plans with you. So instead, maybe when the kids aren’t around we can talk about what you would like put in, changed, or how you like to do things and we can, add that into the systems. We can make a system together so that that it works when both of us are home. You are not wrong, I am not wrong, we are just different and we need to come together to be the same.
I am really appreciative for all you do, for being my husband, and for being a father to our children. I love you.
Sincerely,
Your stay at home wife who is just trying to hold it all together
