It is the time of year where teachers start going to target, start collecting their summer buys, start coordinating colors/theme/decor. I see it all over the blogs and Instagram accounts I’m not ready to unfollow.
It’s days like today, seeing the excitement of new, of potential, of fresh ideas and goals I really miss teaching. I miss those feelings. I don’t mean to toot my mine horn, but I was a pretty darn good teacher. I helped my students grow. I helped them shine, and I, in turn, made me shine.
There was a gratification in quantifiable evidence I was doing a good job. Test scores grew during the three check points, kids left knowing more than they came in knowing, I was asked to teach younger siblings, I was thanked. I was making a difference in lives and daily and then it was recognized by the kids, the parents, the faculty, and in the data.
Parenting is pretty thankless, stay at home parenting arguably even more. Special needs stay at home parenting is a whole other experience of a lot of work for not a lot of recognition. It has taken me a while to be ok with my new role, to feel like I am still doing ok even if there is no data or thanks. I think back to school brings this to face every year.
I miss teaching, the feelings, and all that went with it. I do know I still need to be home. I know it is best for my family and I am strongly needed at home. I know I am making a difference in their lives and helping others through my writing. Alex is working every day to say thank you and tell me I am doing a good job.
I am asked often and I do feel I want to go back to teaching. I am needed here in this phase of my life, but I do look forward to the future and seeing what different phases bring. I do hope all I learn here with my babies helps me grow into an even stronger teacher with even more opportunities and skills to help even more people’s babies. Until that day, I think I am going to go purge some junk, rearrange the playroom, create some learning tools, hit up the teacher stuff at Target in the dollar spot, label just about everything and go laminate some stuff.